Our Mindsets- Dereliction or Dilation
An insightful African proverb reminds us that “you do not ask for a chair in a village where the chief himself sits on the floor”. Simply put, this proverb is a call to face reality as we see it and become “doers”, turning challenges into opportunities, not allowing such challenges to overwhelm us. The answer lies in one critical attribute — choice.
On average, the human brain processes between 60,000–80,000 thoughts per day. Others have put this figure at an average of 6000 thoughts per day. Regardless of the exact number of thoughts, what is also known is that the natural tendency is that in its default state, 80% of these thoughts will be negative. Negative in the sense that they are based on things we can’t control. Negative in the sense that they are based on “wishes & imagination”, instead of activating to action what is within our control and working to create the better state that we have imagined. Negative in the sense that we resort to complaints & blame games for soothing our conscious and absolving ourselves of responsibility.
The result then is a state of powerlessness & dependency — looking to others to do the “heavy lifting”. This is the default state of mind of any human being. But the power lies in choice. A typical example of what I mean is the way we handle negative feedback. When someone abuses you or mistreats you, this is negative information or stimuli beyond one’s control. But how you process it to ensure you focus on what is within your control is critical. For example, choosing to forgive, choosing an alternative path, refusing to hold grudges, preferring to control self not to react negatively is a typical example of rising above the default state of mind — which is inherently negative. This same state of mind is what applies to development. The default state is to say that it is hard and that we need others to do it or help us. But rising above this negative state is to ask — how can we start solving the challenges and turning them into opportunities using what is within our reach now.
Therefore, the point is that when you’re focusing on something you can control, even if you’re dealing with negative information, you do not have a negative thought. And this is the state of mind we urgently need to have. We must recognise that we are the ones we need. It is not an indictment to leverage what others have done, but the key is to contextualise it to turn contextual challenges into opportunities. The following takeaways are, therefore, what we must focus on going forward:
a) the future can only be created by what we do today as individuals, not what we wish or think others should do. Consequently, we must develop the mental strength to always see ourselves as the starting point of doing something. To tell our minds that we will step to the plate and take actions to build a better future using what we already have within our control. Whatever our hands find to do, we must do it exceptionally well and with selflessness targeting how it will create opportunities for many more. Even if we fail, we learn, and gain experience and rise again to do it better, leveraging the experience we got from past failures. We cannot make a difference without accumulating this experience. Bottom line — we must develop the mental strength to always see every challenge as a disguised opportunity. Tell your mind you can do it. Even if you fail at it, you learn something. It’s called experience.
b) Imagination is okay but will not change anything unless we act and start laying the foundation for achieving the imagined better state. When you say you want a better world, you can’t just expect someone to do it for you as you sit and blame others. It starts with you. You must, at the individual level, starts to play your part. We will never achieve the mental picture of what we want without starting with what we can do and starting with what we have now. And what each of us has is ourselves. So, each of us must use ourselves — our minds & limbs — to do something positive. You cannot postpone the future you want to see by complaining and blaming. That’s the more straightforward default tendency, but it brings no results. The future can only be created by what we do now, not what we wish can be done by someone else. It starts with you and me. Not someone else because that someone else is also thinking that someone else will take the responsibility.
c) Giving up even before starting is the biggest mind disabler. Never underestimate the power of the mind. When you mentally accept that you can do it, you will do it. Your mind will go as far as you push it. That’s the power of the mind.
d) We must stay off fear. It only drains you but brings nothing. It’s like complaining about everything and blaming others, and in the end, nothing changes — waste of time. We cannot change anything with FEAR. The FEAR of failure is what is making us remain where we are. Go out there, give your all. Even if you fail, you learn, and that’s called experience. Never miss an opportunity to try just because you think you cannot make it. Move to pass that today. The struggle is part of life and is what makes the difference. No one ever became anything in this life without dedicating self to a cause — what would be called struggle. Take pride in it and learn from it, don’t take it with a negative connotation. The struggle is the stepping stop to the next level. Grow in it. It’s never easy, and that’s the mindset we must develop and give our best even as we fail forward. We must never freeze anytime we face a challenge and think we are facing an impossibility. Such a thought is an outright disabler. We must overcome it by saying — yes, I will try; yes, if I fail, I would have accumulated enough experiences and lessons to do it better in my next go. Then rise and give it a try with your complete focus.
e) never be satisfied with an “average reality”. The comfort zone of saying “I can not do it” is the worst injustice that anyone can do. Our comfort zone of looking to others sometimes to solve our challenges instead of taking leadership in the solutions using what we have and not fearing failure is the biggest Achilles heel that we must break as individuals. Never be comfortable with the thought that “it cannot be done” or “it is for others to do” — these are the seeds of mediocrity and “average at best” that we must shun vehemently. Average can never bring results, but we can break loose from it out of personal choice to focus on what we can control and not what we cannot control. Consistently push yourself to the next level because the mind can go as far as you make it. Push self to do it not for self, but because it is touching many others’ lives.
f) do not fear to open up and be vulnerable to others for the sake of connecting with other people because none of us can do it alone. None of us is a repository of knowledge and capability, so always work with like-minded persons. If none is available, start alone, and you will meet them on the way.
g) there cannot be any eating without working, no product without being part of a process. Remember, every succeeding generation is faced with their peculiar challenges & opportunities that they must solve selflessly to guarantee a firm foundation for the next. That is the basis of human survival. So never think that those who came before you did it all. NEVER. You have work to do for your generation, and if you neglect, you are devaluing yourself and jeopardising those who will come after you.
Conclusion:
As a living being, remember that the creator has never put any limitations on you. So don’t limit yourself in any way. Unleash yourself fully to be part of productive solutions that touches many lives
